Couple relationships are central to many of our lives, so when they are under stress or going through difficult times, we can often feel confused, sad, angry or alone. Couple counselling can help to improve our patterns of communication and resolve issues within our intimate relationships.
Couple counselling is similar to individual counselling in that our counsellors will not give you advice or tell you what to do. Instead, they will help you to understand what is happening in your relationship, explore how you would like things to be different, and help you to bridge the gap. The big difference between couple counselling and individual counselling is that there will usually be three of you in the room, as you will attend as a couple. Because there are two of you engaged in the process, couples counselling can often be more intensive than individual counselling, and quicker to bring about change.
Couple counselling will not necessarily stop your relationship from ending, but it can help you both to develop a deeper understanding of your relationship and a clearer sense of what you both need and want, whatever you decide to do in the future.
Sessions are 50 minutes long and can be delivered by zoom or face-to-face. This may depend on where you live.
Couple counselling sessions are typically joint sessions, where the couple will work with the counsellor together. However, it is not unusual to include one or more individual sessions in couple counselling. This will depend on your specific needs. You can discuss this with your counsellor.
How many sessions you will need will depend on your particular circumstances, but we typically start with the expectation that you will have 6 sessions. We can review this as the counselling progresses.
When you speak to our Service Administration team to arrange your sessions, they will ask you what donation you would like to make towards the cost of your Couple Counselling.
Our suggested donation is a minimum of £40 per session as this is what it costs us to deliver Couple Counselling. There is no expectation for people on benefits or a low income to make a donation. However, please consider contributing what you can. We are a charity and we work hard to make sure that anyone who needs our support can access our services. Any donation you can make will help us to ensure that we can get help to the people who need it most.
Please be aware that we can only offer Couple Counselling to people who live in Aberdeen, Aberdeenshire or Moray.
We are able to offer free and reduced cost Counselling thanks to the support of a range of funders, including: National Lottery Awards for All, Aberdeen City Common Good Fund, Aberdeen City Health and Social Care Partnership, Aberdeenshire Council, Budge Foundation, Cattanach Trust, CNOOC International Community Fund, Moray Council and the Scottish Government.
When I confronted my wife about having an affair, I was praying she would deny it, that it wasn’t true and I’d got it all wrong. That moment, waiting for her to respond, felt like an eternity. She started to cry and, to be honest, it’s a bit of a haze but I remember I hit the roof. I don’t think I’d ever felt such rage and I really wanted to hurt them both.
My initial reaction was to throw her out and she did go and stay with her Mum for a couple of weeks. Even though I was angry and miserable, I was confused because I didn’t really want to leave her. We’d been together for 16 years, it was a lot to give up but I was all over the place and couldn’t control my feelings. I thought I still loved her but I hated her at the same time. We tried to work it out but I punished her at every opportunity and became obsessed by her every move. I was wearing both of us down and I couldn’t stop myself.
After about 4 months, we decided to try counselling, it really was our last hope. I didn’t think it would work, but the counsellor explained that, if we decided to separate, she could support us through that. She said that leaving the relationship amicably would help us both move on and start over.
There were lots of times when we both wanted to call it a day, but we stuck it out and stayed together. Counselling really made us look at ourselves, not just our marriage and I wasn’t expecting that. I learned that we hadn’t really communicated for years and we were both responsible for the success of the relationship. We argue now but that’s progress, as before we brushed everything under the rug and pretended we were happy. I still think about the affair sometimes and it does hurt, but not like it did. I guess some things are worth fighting for even when you think you’ll never get over it.